fib

by amy sharp


I don't think of you anymore
and other lies
I don't want to tell you things
and other lies
feelings have expiration dates
and other lies

sometimes in my garden
when my face is red wine numb
I lick my finger and stick it up in the air
broken compass
wicked wind
I have no direction
not even a guess
to the speed
of all of this



 


Sunday

by amy sharp


 

 

A long, wet kiss. An open palm.
Sweaty skin. A summer song.
The small of a back.
This was supposed to be a grocery list.

 


noisy

by amy sharp


  

 


someone once told me that I storm
rooms
hearts
middle of afternoons
that I am a parade of energy
china shop
bull
so I tried to creep slowly into your life
I actually tiptoed
bit my bottom lip
but there was a loud sound
like water rushing
sirens
someone yelling at 2am
it's hard to stop a train
and I'm not sorry

things break
wear earplugs
harness your heart






 


pit

by amy sharp


life has these cavernous holes that show up
unannounced like knocks on quiet house doors
football field size pits of grief and angst and
this is what your mama never told you about
because who wants to paint a picture
like that
who wants to tell someone
that someday
they will be
wading
through
life
all thick
like a madman
desperate to make it
feel
the way it did
before
white flags
the word uncle
you across a crowded room
just tell me it’s all going to be OK
just lie to me
all night long
 


Hood

by amy sharp



wolves are everywhere
and if you let them look you in the eye
you go blind right before they tear you apart
don't read fairy tales
they are bullshit
don't think for a second
you are safe
or unusual happiness
is at the other side of dark forest
sling a gun on your back
fill your pockets with rocks
and run





 

 


must

by amy sharp


half-awake to the world
day dreamer
blue-soaked skies
a mouth full of tongue
birds flying out of my chest
a jukebox that only plays sad songs
you never even knew it was me
I must have blended into the bricks
I must have been so quiet
 


by amy sharp


route 33
and I'll think about losing my mind
slowly as the trees blur green past me
walk the bricks in town
kick the past in the teeth
and I just don't learn
my heart is a shitty compass
I never go north




 

 


the only time it happens is all the time

by amy sharp


If you decided you were wrong
I wouldn't care that I was right
sometimes it takes so long for the night
to drip dark and the lights to burn yellow
it's always dusk
all over the city
did you ever notice that in August
did you ever see me walking down the street
my hair on fire
I saw you but I kept my mouth closed
I have learned not to shout


 


When no one was looking

by amy sharp


I stood outside of a bar and told you everything and cars went by like cartoons and you were not looking at me, only right past my head to a place you made up. I told you I could fly, but it was a lie. My only power is to disappear.


then

by amy sharp


I was in a fugue state when I met you.
I am sure of it.
I can almost remember the lights and the way the streets were wet.
 


arcane clues

by amy sharp


I left three poems on the bus last week
two under the newspaper box downtown
and one on the top of the shiny cigarette machine at the pub
I disguised my writing of course
wrote like a left handed winner
in tiny little loops
kissed each paper
and walked away
it's like I don't even care
to keep them
anymore
they have to go away


 


This is the rest of the advice I started giving you at the gay bar last night.

by amy sharp


 

Someday your soft heart will be smashed. You've read all the books, watched films, seen the way people treat each other in the street. Get ready. Wait for it. Wait for it. And some of the times you will just have to live with it. This is truly the shittiest part. Let the heart wreck bullshit just sit with you for an undetermined amount of time. Treat it like a dangerous pet that you have to feed quickly. Stroke it. Acknowledge it. Tell it to go away but in a sweet little whisper. In French.  Because you have to deal with it or it will never go away. It will bite you. You could die.

And then you will wake up and the sun will be all over the room and you had forgotten how badly you felt. It just happens like that and you may even put your hand to your chest and feel like your heart is bigger. Stronger. Faster. If there is a mirror in your bedroom take a good look at yourself. This is life. You are looking at life.

Make sure you keep giving your love away no matter how stupid that feels again. Give it to all the people. Like sweets, balloons. Paper. A bunch of flowers in your hand.  Not everyone means to be terrible and thoughtless and confusing. But we all do it and we all rise up again in sunny bedrooms. Just wait. You’ll remember all of this someday.  


summer summer

by amy sharp


the space in the middle of summer
holds all of the heat and light
of the entire year
and it can make people crazy
watch out
I was riding my bike
through my neighborhood
and I just wanted to fall into the grass
and tumble like a child
and stay there for hours
watching my elderly neighbor tinker around
in his green garden
he wears overalls and is beautiful
and I wanted to walk right over
and ask him to list out all of his regrets
beg him to whisper them to me
to write them on my arm
like a talisman tattoo
and the sun must have done that to me
must have been real hot


Before Breakfast

by amy sharp


the rain relentless
and I just want to take off my dress
and walk wet
the road here is gravel
reminds me of a movie
I saw when I was a kid
or maybe I just made that up
I only think impossible things when I think of you
I could send you a message with my mind
once I did fly
walk through a wall
tickled myself
stopped time
I can tell you the future
give me your hands
put them on me
I'm a mess

 


1:45 p.m.

by amy sharp


 

I'm all up in three summer ales and Nina Simone is blaring out a boxy little window and my bathing suit top strings are all hanging down and it ain't even 2pm yet and there is nothing that will stop me from telling you things. I love it when the sun licks at me just a little and the sky is a painting and there are people in this world who are not afraid. I think about your perfect passion and the way a whole bunch of days string together like lace. I wonder what you think about right before you go to sleep

 


Spelling

by amy sharp


There is a whole room in my mind dedicated to certain dangerous forces. I've built a tiny dam. Collecting. Capturing. And your name is all over the walls. In capital letters. Swirly script. Scribble scrabble. Absent-minded doodling.


it sounds like music in the background

by amy sharp


sometimes I put my hand on my chest
and try to feel my heart beat
maybe it's a murmur this feeling
that creeps across me
blood over valves
so much static
or it's you and the way
you push past me
and start my motor
kick start
the whole
damn
thing