I hate you I love you

by amy sharp

no one knows the future
you can't do anything with the past
someone read my tea leaves a few years ago
and her face was all scrunched up
I've carried that with me
I'd give you all the words
if you ask for them
hold out your hands
let me see them


no help for that / Charles Bukowski

by amy sharp


there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

a space

and even during the
best moments
the greatest

we will know it

we will know it
more than

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled


we will wait

in that

with your little finger

by amy sharp

push the poetry button
here let me lift my shirt
open my mouth
unhinge my jaw
push it
make the words fall out of me
all the ones
you know by heart
letter by letter
the bottom of my soul


small world

by amy sharp

god that felt good
when someone else
said you were just like the way I thought you were
they just said it
plain and simple
and we were in a bar and the glasses were all clinking
like tiny music
and I just looked across the way
pretending to wave to a friend
acting aloof about the conversation
but inside I was alive and high fiving myself
cuz all we ever wanna be is right
down deep
never to be wrong
about our stupid hearts
even if they spill
make a big old mess

neutrally benevolent

by amy sharp

I think of all the ways I could destroy you
dismantle you
pour you out like old dishwater
stand like a boxer
jab you
punch you
take you down
to china town
burn your bridges
clock your jaw
fuck you up
make you cry like your eyes were rivers
that led to the place we made a gulf
a beautiful place to drown
but instead I just watch you sleep
and remember the person I was before we hurt each other
not this person
but that other girl
the softer one
the one who would wish

Can't we still wish and I won't hurt you and destroy you and you won't take me apart?
I sit on the edge of the bed and take off my clothes. When I was a little girl I always thought that if a genie appeared I'd just use my last wish for 3 more wishes. Every single time. I would rule the world.

right now I'd use all 3 wishes on an ordinary day years ago
a time machine
to a Tuesday
or a Thursday
the old old old neighborhood
us laughing
the world still quite slow
a dog barking
a train in the distance

all the time in the world left for destruction




by amy sharp

she said it
matter of fact
like she was sure
let them go
she said

imagine how free you'll feel
I was just talking out loud
asking the wind
or my computer screen
how one goes about erasing someone from your life
is it a process?
do I need a form
the full moon
do I dance around
recite spells

she put down her Starbucks cup on her desk
she was working
we work together
but not long enough to know all the secrets
that glue us together
for years
not yet

her coffee cup
beautiful lip marked up
something I focused on
when I told her thank you
when I tried hard to believe her





by amy sharp

I don't think of you anymore
and other lies
I don't want to tell you things
and other lies
feelings have expiration dates
and other lies

sometimes in my garden
when my face is red wine numb
I lick my finger and stick it up in the air
broken compass
wicked wind
I have no direction
not even a guess
to the speed
of all of this



by amy sharp



A long, wet kiss. An open palm.
Sweaty skin. A summer song.
The small of a back.
This was supposed to be a grocery list.



by amy sharp



someone once told me that I storm
middle of afternoons
that I am a parade of energy
china shop
so I tried to creep slowly into your life
I actually tiptoed
bit my bottom lip
but there was a loud sound
like water rushing
someone yelling at 2am
it's hard to stop a train
and I'm not sorry

things break
wear earplugs
harness your heart



by amy sharp

life has these cavernous holes that show up
unannounced like knocks on quiet house doors
football field size pits of grief and angst and
this is what your mama never told you about
because who wants to paint a picture
like that
who wants to tell someone
that someday
they will be
all thick
like a madman
desperate to make it
the way it did
white flags
the word uncle
you across a crowded room
just tell me it’s all going to be OK
just lie to me
all night long


by amy sharp

wolves are everywhere
and if you let them look you in the eye
you go blind right before they tear you apart
don't read fairy tales
they are bullshit
don't think for a second
you are safe
or unusual happiness
is at the other side of dark forest
sling a gun on your back
fill your pockets with rocks
and run




by amy sharp

half-awake to the world
day dreamer
blue-soaked skies
a mouth full of tongue
birds flying out of my chest
a jukebox that only plays sad songs
you never even knew it was me
I must have blended into the bricks
I must have been so quiet

by amy sharp

route 33
and I'll think about losing my mind
slowly as the trees blur green past me
walk the bricks in town
kick the past in the teeth
and I just don't learn
my heart is a shitty compass
I never go north



the only time it happens is all the time

by amy sharp

If you decided you were wrong
I wouldn't care that I was right
sometimes it takes so long for the night
to drip dark and the lights to burn yellow
it's always dusk
all over the city
did you ever notice that in August
did you ever see me walking down the street
my hair on fire
I saw you but I kept my mouth closed
I have learned not to shout


When no one was looking

by amy sharp

I stood outside of a bar and told you everything and cars went by like cartoons and you were not looking at me, only right past my head to a place you made up. I told you I could fly, but it was a lie. My only power is to disappear.


by amy sharp

I was in a fugue state when I met you.
I am sure of it.
I can almost remember the lights and the way the streets were wet.

arcane clues

by amy sharp

I left three poems on the bus last week
two under the newspaper box downtown
and one on the top of the shiny cigarette machine at the pub
I disguised my writing of course
wrote like a left handed winner
in tiny little loops
kissed each paper
and walked away
it's like I don't even care
to keep them
they have to go away