neutrally benevolent

by amy sharp


I think of all the ways I could destroy you
dismantle you
pour you out like old dishwater
stand like a boxer
jab you
punch you
take you down
to china town
burn your bridges
clock your jaw
fuck you up
make you cry like your eyes were rivers
that led to the place we made a gulf
a beautiful place to drown
but instead I just watch you sleep
and remember the person I was before we hurt each other
not this person
but that other girl
the softer one
the one who would wish

Can't we still wish and I won't hurt you and destroy you and you won't take me apart?
I sit on the edge of the bed and take off my clothes. When I was a little girl I always thought that if a genie appeared I'd just use my last wish for 3 more wishes. Every single time. I would rule the world.

right now I'd use all 3 wishes on an ordinary day years ago
a time machine
to a Tuesday
or a Thursday
dusk
us
the old old old neighborhood
us laughing
the world still quite slow
a dog barking
a train in the distance

all the time in the world left for destruction