I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.

Today when I was trying to move crap from one folder marked source text to a folder entitled working text that will hopefully one day soon go into a folder entitled shitty first draft- I started thinking about summertime in Athens, Ohio.

I am deeply obsessed with my old college town.
My old hometown.
The place I ran far far away from and came back to and found my ever after.
That part of Southeastern Ohio is mother's milk to me.
I could not forget it ever even if a witch doctor came and stood over me with painted skin and messy drugs and tried to shake it from my soul-to dislodge the memories and skeletons and tiny tears.
It would never happen.

We own a little parcel of land there now.
I think about living there someday again.
On 8 acres with a cave and a stream and boys tall and wild.
The summer is thick and heavy with the hills that nestle the area.
You can't get it out of yr head how pretty the hills are- how rare an occurrence when the summer spreads out on concrete and urban living before yr feet now.

But really the one thing I was thinking about today was the time near the end of college (It may have been the real end- like when we were all living some sort of giant ridiculous substance fueled pretend version of Kicking and Screaming ) that all of us unplugged the really heavy coin operated kiddie ride from the Dollar General store directly across from Jenn's apartment and carried it into the living room at 3 am. In a haze of the most random friends I ever had until social media hit my life recently we plugged it in and rode it all night long like little kids.
I have never laughed more.
I was not afraid of anything and hours later when the strong boys we knew
carried it back to the store-

when the sun was coming up early
early like it did today on this longest day
I sat with some of the friends I have today still
these beautiful friends
and we leaned our backs against the discount store
brick and scratchy
and watched the way the green hills
seduced our eyes
how they charmed some of us
into loving them forever

I miss those hills today.