Blogging is pretty cool for loads of reasons, but I LOVE meeting people through this platform. Back in December I met Stacy Morrison at a cocktail party in NYC for the Kirtsy book launch.
I thought she was fabulous and interesting and smart.
I had not clue she was editor in chief of Redbook magazine!
She was telling me about her upcoming book "Falling Apart in One Piece" and I promised to read it. I have just finished it and I asked her for a little Q&A and a book (autographed) to give to one of my readers.
reviews of the book:
“I loved it. Raw, wonderful, honest, brash, truth-telling—Falling Apart in One Piece is a story about learning to let go and come to terms with the journey of life. It is a book for anyone whose life has just taken an unexpected turn and who needs to be reminded that not only can they be happy again, but that the human spirit is capable of great resilience.” —Lee Woodruff, author of Perfectly Imperfect: A Life in Progress
What I thought:
I thought it was a moving and honestly stark glimpse in the narrative of her life.
I have had many girlfriends face divorce lately and I have watched them struggle with the rebuilding and re-framing of a life. This book seems to tell the real tale of how she did that with an inner determination and love. I think that although Stacy lives a far different life from me and some of my friends in Ohio, it is accessible as a relationship book for everyone. We can all relate to this story of love lost. It doesn't matter much that she is socially and financially elevated- she is a woman navigating some tricky matters of the heart and it reads crisp and clear. (and she's funny!) I think this is a not just a divorce memoir.
What day did you decide you were writing this book?I have read that you tried to NOT write the book- but please tell us about the moment of inspiration.
As I was living my divorce, I kept ending up at work events or cocktail parties with a small circle of people around me as I talked about the rains and the storms and the other crazy events that kept slamming into my life in those two hard years. I kept catching myself making elaborate declamations of how we do divorce wrong in our culture, and I'd suddenly stop dead, and get embarrassed that I'd been yakking my head off for 15-20 minutes about my own life. Once I just stopped and muttered to the group, "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm going to become a Buddhist or a talk-show host." But an agent-my agent!-emailed me the next day and said, "I think you should write a book." That was the moment of inspiration, because I realized that yes, I very clearly did have a few things I wanted to say.
What was the hardest part of this book? Was it like reliving the pain again or more cathartic?(also tell us about being a powerful career woman and finding the time to write the book?)
Writing the book was a challenge on so many levels. I used up all my vacation for two years on writing the book, and wrote every other weekend, which meant that I was spending more time away from my son, Zack, than I had at any point in his life. Halfway through writing the book I thought to myself,"This is insane. You made it through a horrible time and now you're spending less time with your son so you can tell others about it?" I cried for two days straight, and tried to talk myself into quitting. But by then I'd written 50,000 words, so I just kept going.
How has yr ex been affected by this book- I know yr friends- but has this caused him any emotional issues or has it been great for him too?
I think the book is essentially a non-issue for my ex. He lived the story the first time around, he knew what the story in the book would be. I always say, "Well, he knows how it ends." People are always surprised he "let" me write the book, but to that I say, "Why do people simply assume that what I would have to say would be so ugly, so mean and spiteful?" That captures exactly what I wanted to go gunning at about divorce in our culture: that we are in love with divorce at its most hideous, when actually it would be better for everyone-for the partners, for the children, for people who are married, for people who want to believe in love and so forth-if we could let go with dignity, grace, and some sense of privacy and decency for the grief involved (instead of stirring up the anger).
Would you marry again?
YES! You'll be invited, I promise. What I saw and learned in my divorce was that I valued marriage much more than even I realized, I who was married. That is one of the most precious lessons I learned. I live my relationships much more gently now, all of them.
What would be advice for a friend about to get married?
Well, when I was the editor of Redbook, I published about 6,000 pieces of marriage advice, so it's hard to choose just one, but here goes: Love boldly, ignore the small stuff, and take this leap of faith with joy. Then remember to tend the joy in your marriage: seek out and schedule in the activities that make the two of you shine, the activities in which you are your best self. Even if they're childish or immature or expensive or hard to schedule or or or.... Remember to live your love every day, not just the endless list of What Has To Be Done Next that we women are so very good at curating.
What are yr plans next?
Right now, my life is very up in the air, and so I'm very grateful all over again that I lived those two years of my divorce where I had to let go of my ideas of How Life Should Go. And so I'm just listening to my instincts, trying to squeeze in extra time with my son, doing my best to promote this book that I'm so proud of, all while doing laundry and cooking meals, just like every other woman in America. I'm waiting for the flash of inspiration that will tell me what I should be doing next, and then off I'll go, on another exciting adventure! But in the meantime, I'm starting a blog at www.fallingapartinonepiece.com, along with a community forum, because the conversations this book has started have been amazing and I want to share them with others (and that was suggested to me by many of my readers!). I will always consider myself lucky to be a woman who's been able to find myself at the center of how all we women figure out just exactly who it is we're meant to be. I mean, that's all part of the fun, right?
Thanks Stacy! Just leave a comment and I will pick a winner for an autographed copy of the book. ( I will use random.org on Thursday) xo