The holidays always amplify everything. It is a time where we mean so very well and we try and drop off packages of forgiveness and wrap boxes of kindness and tie of bows of thankfulness and sit beside trees of love. We try so hard to spin it all in this tiny window of space. We jam it all inside a calendar box. We tape everything up and then rip the tape off and we can't help but feel so much.
The absence of people is the hardest.
I still want to buy slippers and socks and cigarettes and place them inside of brown boxes with love notes and mail them to dad. Across an ocean. Across a family that I am so very lucky to have and wish were not so far. I know my Joe is feeling this division of time. I see it wash across his face and I hear it in the way he speaks of England. We will sit under a sparkle tree and toast this great man on Christmas. We will whisper across the ghostly universe love letters with whiskey breath.
We will hope he gets our messages-no matter how small.
For the heart it is bigger and beating more madly than ever.
There is a true amplified heartbeat for you.
For all of you.