I know who I want to take me home

by Amy Turn Sharp


and mostly if I was lucky I would be over at Tony's Tavern with other kindred folk.
I would be listening to novellas being spoken like tiny spiders in my ears there. The talk was a wonderful mix of high art and intellectual banter with some hard drugs and scandal thrown in for good measure. I would be mingling with the elders and I would invest a tremendous amount of time in the old wooden booth beside the bar learning that people will often let you down. Learning that people are complicated and that I was still young enough to be unafraid of the world. Learning how to completely numb myself and mastering the art of seduction. Learning that the Rolling Stones songs are mostly true.
I would find solace in the fact that I was an artist. I would laugh like the devil.

But a lot of the time I would be at other bars that would play songs like this one because I was playing wing man for some friend. I played this part a lot. I am jovial and shit. I am not afraid of talking to people. It still shocks me that some people are. I would be at some bar where slightly shiny boys dressed in overpriced clothing were drunk enough to be dangerous and all of my friends were wasted because they only ate a bagel all day long. I would be setting up tiny lives all over devastated hardwood floors and this song was always around that year. That year that I knew there was not much time left doing what it was that I was doing.
I would tell myself that all of the hardish living was simply foundations to the life of an artist. Large thick stones that I would stand on and see over the mountain.
I still think this true.
Only thing is nowadays I really kinda like this song...