Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

by Amy Turn Sharp


There is something splendid about the memories we attach to music.
I am especially emotionally attached to the music that marks the journey of my parenthood.
Much like the music that defined Amy & Joe there is now a whole musical canon that means Finn and Blaise to me.
A cue is given and I am thrown down a rabbit hole of raw memories. I can hear a song like this one and almost instantly I feel my body heavy and and my mind keen and sharp like madness. It played on constant loop those first weeks Finn was home and I was terrified and in love. It can stop me in a tavern or mall with prickly skin. I cut my sharp motherhood fangs on the lyrics. I soothed my inadequacies on the melody.
Never something I could hide
When I see we made it through another day

There are other songs too- we all have our own. There are songs that we share with our children, kinda like wedding songs burned into brains.
Often we lead our children to this music, like a pied piper.
How cool is it really that we get to open up the world and share it?
We get to sit down and watch someone listen to Dylan for the first time and watch the room buzz with electric? We assign meaning to these songs we sing together.
Songs like Blackbird that Finn loved immediately and came to in an honest fashion, hearing the Sarah Mclaughlin cover playing in our old living room... (and I immediately schooled him in the Beatles) He sang it sweetly with me two years ago and even now will hum it when sleepy or forlorn. It means comfort to him. And me.


blackbird finn from Amy Turn Sharp on Vimeo.

title post- High Fidelity 2000