A sampling of jobs

I was thinking about jobs lately. I will return to work someday. I don't know what I want to be when I grown up, but I know some things I have already been. What have you been?

Age 16
Dog Sitter for aging couple in suburbs. The house smelled of Listerine, aqua net, and fur. I would sit on slip covered sofas and watch VHS. I would snoop. I learned that some people are dull and do not have secret drawers.

Age 17
Cashier. Dipped cones for busloads of old people visiting our local scenic wonderland. They wanted butter pecan, but said Pecahn. A very stifling experience in a red striped ruffled apron. I apprenticed the call in sick voice that I would eventually master. I learned that old men are still horny.

Age 18
Camp Counselor at Presbyterian Church Camp. I was sent to work away the summer at my moms friend’s church camp. My parents made me go and dropped me off in the thick of the woods. I smoked on the roof of the tabernacle and made out frequently with the Russians for Jesus exchange student Vladislav. I did learn how to make a God’s eye.

Age 19-23
Milo’s Balloon Entertainer. Dressing in either giant chicken or gorilla costume, I would deliver sentiments of love and celebratory balloon bouquets to convalescents and high school cheerleaders. I venture to say, most humiliating job to date. At times I would be accosted by large groups of children or drunks. I learned how to run.

Age 23
Fine dining server. Hard job for a slob as uniforms were to be neat. I once offered fresh ground pepper to a woman and I as I began to grind it over her salad nicoise- I noticed that I was grinding a camel light cigarette into her food. I kept my smokes and grinder in same pocket. I perfected the art of bullshitting.

Age 24-33
Inner city educator. There is pleasure in teaching. I see minds open and know things click. I am reminded that I came from privilege and it hurts the tiny corners of my self. I give away a lot of time and money and thought to these kids. I lose a child to senseless gunfire one sweaty summer and nothing much has ever been the same. Promises to not let them down do fall apart as I slowly shed the last of my invincible skin.

SAHM. Finn and Blaise- three years and ten months respectively are my new students. I am instructing them on all things. Today we learned about Bob Dylan, the solstice, and glitter. I am still learning.