your heart is in the middle
of your chest it's only tipped
a little to the left I want
your hand right there smack
dab in the middle of me where
I open up
push a little bit
feel me beat
bad drivers on the freeway are normally just thinking about sex
there are certain songs that will hold you frozen
the only thing alive is your tongue
I don't think you know about my heart
I'll always win that contest where we stare at each other like enemies
let's try and find a place that does not hurt
It’s terribly sad to have all of the words in your mouth
tiny pointed ones
the ones that would make your broad grin appear
only you can’t get them out
no amount of coaxing will do
they are stuck
in your throat
like hard candy
It takes 16 months to get over someone.
I told that lie to a girl the other day in the park.
She looked so desperate.
Like she needed a numeral.
Something to tick away.
A red pen. A wall.
She will forget I told her that in a few months.
I’d give you a flashlight and tell you to shine it all over me.
We’d be in a big bed in a dark room.
Something random like Bruce Hornsby is playing on the radio.
A heart-shaped mole.
A scar I never show anyone.
I cough and try to get out the words.
Instead I kiss you down the wall.
Across the room.
Time is faster now.
Maybe in the middle of life we all lose our minds for a little bit. I think some people make it back like a vision quest or something. I think some people don't. I used to think we were reckless back then. I have the most interesting and complicated people in my life and I always thought everything would stay the same if I willed it to be so. So much laughing. It's now when life is desperate and wild and hungry. It's now when I wonder what it's like to feel like you are not drowning.
But some people come back. I hear the tales. Like one day the smell of coffee is enough to wake you. You practice forgiveness. People look interesting again. Faces familiar. You start to allow yourself to say things out loud. The truth with its thorny edges. The lies dipped in shimmering honey. You don't think about breathing. It just comes. You are shocked at all of the things you used to not know.
I stare at my friends now when I'm with them and wonder what is inside of them. I hardly think anyone I know is really happy. They keep secrets. We all do. I want to tunnel through their flesh and bone and pierce into their minds. I want to see inside of someone else. It would make me feel better. I could handle the truth of what they think and feel. I could. I live with myself. I've seen undone.
A few days ago you were looking at me from across the room and I just felt so lost. I wanted to shout out about how I was in some forest. Some wooded area. The edge of the world. How I was not really here and that's why I looked so weird. I wanted to step inside of a time machine and my mouth would be hanging open and my smile would be that amazing flashlight out of the darkness and I'd look right back at you with my real eyes. But I could not speak. I blinked so fast that my tears went away.
I think I have a bunch of cracks and light isn't even getting in.
there may be electricity in my mouth
I want you to actually destroy my heart
I wonder if you see me
there was a small window of time when everything was fine
I like you better in the sunshine
I’m just gonna leave this right here
I was so lucky be able to collaborate with Alison Rose last weekend on my very first art show! I gave them words and they made beautiful prints. We also worked on some original pieces together. I learned so much in the weeks before the show about screenprinting and their awesome business. I'm really proud of the work and can't wait to work with Alison and Nicholas again!!!! The show will be up for a week or two more and you can check it out person at at 3039 Indianola Ave Columbus, OH 43202 or purchase prints and such online at the shop.
Scroll through some pics from the beautiful evening...
I don't mind
that doesn't even hurt me
You can say anything to me
I'm sometimes fearful of Chihuahuas
I love you like fire
storms over the tops of trees
you should really do something about that
I'll figure it out
the way to know someone loves you
is if they let you pick
all the songs
even the ones that sound like noise
you can't tell me what to do
I'll always be this way
your fly is down
put me in a car
children grow faster in the springtime
you have something in your teeth
I love you like gunfire
I'm not happy
your jacket has a cigarette hole in it
tears taste so good
I may never recover from you
at night I become a wolf
I rip out your heart
you never cry
there are sounds
cars speeding through puddles
sirens on the edge of town
people laughing in slick alleys
music escaping a bar
the heart of a blue whale is as big as a small car
this is as mind boggling as other things in my life
my heart can fit in your fist
you could actually hold my heart
throw it like a pine cone
put it in your pocket
leave it on a park bench
what's exhausting is walking around with it
the tiny slip of a thought
something that could be true
but you just can't bet on it
we're made of mystery and wonder
dice in pockets
but we're afraid
and we're sometimes stuck
I want you to say all the truth you know
even the ones you don't
I want you to practice in a mirror
pay attention to your mouth
make it move
in all directions
like a kiss
you'd put all over me